erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I FOUND THE LEGS
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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