He is an equal opportunity slut.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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