i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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