Kiss
Puke
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
