I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize