yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
