u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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