Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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