yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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