I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I stole a fireplace last night.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
