Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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