thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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