ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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