if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
foreskin is a definite game changer
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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