If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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