You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
