either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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