Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
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I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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