i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
