I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
