It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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