I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
