This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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