none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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