How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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