Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
