Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
