Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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