RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
