Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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