Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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