fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
