He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
