id be glad to
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
