I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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