I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
40s are totally the cure
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
