I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
