This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
