In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
