ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
