Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize