I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
That's how pantless uber rides happen
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
