i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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