I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
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forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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