dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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