she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Randomize
