She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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