Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
