Don't make out with my wife yet
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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