You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
