you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
