But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
