I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
