..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Randomize
