Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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