Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
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Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize