you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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