No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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