It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
