When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
