Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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