Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
