Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
