Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
