Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
