I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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